Why People Ignore Advice and What You Can Do About It - The Power of Ask, Don't Tell

One of my favorite moMents in Alexandre Dumas's Three Musketeers is when Athos essentially responds to D'ArTAGnan's request for advice with, "I make it a policy to never give advice unless someone asks for it at least three times. Even then, I have found that they seldom truly want it, or heed it." Such good advice to those who love to give advice...

Why People Ignore Advice and What You Can Do About It - The Power of Ask, Don't Tell

Why People Ignore Advice and What You Can Do About It - The Power of Ask, Don't Tell

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Why People Ignore Advice and What You Can Do About It - The Power of Ask, Don't Tell

Why People Ignore Advice and What You Can Do About It - The Power of Ask, Don't Tell

Here is what A River Worth Riding: Fourteen Rules for Navigating Life advises about offering advice:

"Stop telling people what they already know. People always tell smokers why they should stop smoking. People always tell dieters why they should eat healthier. People always tell lawbreakers why they should stop breaking the law. Well, dieters, smokers and lawbreakers usually know the consequences of doing what they do, so do you really think that telling them what they already know will make any difference? Before you start telling people what you know, you should try asking them what they know. You'd be amazed at how often the people you'd like to advise actually know more about their situations than you do."

If you want people to listen your wisdom, you should learn to "always ask and seldom tell."

In other words, don't tell smokers that they need to quit smoking. Ask them why they smoke. Ask them if they have tried to stop smoking. Ask them why stopping is so hard. Ask them if they want to try stopping again. Once you've proven that you understand their addiction, they might ask for your advice. But you should only give them your advice if you can honestly give them a better option than the many they have tried before.

In other words, don't tell dieters that they need to eat healthier. Ask them why they eat what they do. Ask them if they have tried eating healthier. Ask them why eating healthier is so hard. Ask them if they want to try eating healthier again. Once you've proven that you understand their struggles, they might ask for your advice. But you should not give them advice unless you can give them a better option than the hundreds they have already tried.

In other words, don't tell the masses that they need to stop committing crimes. Ask individuals why they commit crimes. Ask them if they have tried to live honestly. Ask them why they find living honestly so hard. Ask them if they want to try making a living honestly. Once you've proven that you understand their perspective, they might ask for your advice. However, you should only give them your advice if you are willing to help them to find a better living than the one they already have.

Offering advice, when advice has not been specifically asked for, creates frustration and animosity between people. The dreaded phrase, "Well, if I were you, I would..." will more likely cause eyes to roll than hearts to open. However, once you learn to ask questions that promote understanding, you'll find that people tend to open up to you words...

Why People Ignore Advice and What You Can Do About It - The Power of Ask, Don't Tell

Top 20 Rod Stewart Hits

He was born Roderick Stewart in London, England, in 1945. His first musical influences, while growing up, were Al Jolson, Little Richard and Bill Haley. Rod got his first guitar in 1959 and by 1960 he had joined a skiffle band called The Kool Kats.

Rod dropped out of school at the age of fifteen and, despite his father's desire for Rod to play football, Rod's desire for a musical career outweighed his father's ambitions for him to be a sports legend. While trying to get his musical career off the ground, Rod worked as a newspaper delivery boy, fence erector and a grave digger.

Rod worked as a folksinger, in Europe, in the early 1960's by playing and singing in numerous bands, including lead singer, in 1962, of The Ray Davies Quartet, later known as The Kinks. When Rod returned to London, he became heavily influenced by the R&B sounds of Otis Redding and Sam Cooke.

Rod was discovered by Long John Baldry (who also discovered Elton John). Baldry hooked Rod up with The Hoochie Coochie Men and later he was with Steampacket and then Shotgun Express.

In 1967, Rod joined The Jeff Beck group, where he stayed until 1969, when he and Ron Wood joined the group Faces. That collaboration remained until 1975. During that time Rod signed a solo recording contract with Mercury Records, where he had his first Top 40 hit with "Maggie May" in 1971.

On the charts, Rod has had 34 Billboard Top 40 hits. Four of those went to number one. Here's a look at Rod Stewart's twenty biggest hits, according to Billboard's Weekly Top 40 charts.

1. Tonight's The Night (Gonna Be Alright) - 1976 - after not having a top 40 hit in 4 years, Rod returned with the biggest record of 1976, taking it to the top of the charts for eight weeks.

2. Maggie May - 1971 - Rod's first top 40 hit was also his first #1 hit and was originally released as the B side to "Reason To Believe."

3. Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? - 1979 - Rod was criticized for releasing this disco-oriented single and abandoning his R&B roots. His defense was that other rock artists were releasing similar material, including Paul McCartney and The Rolling Stones.

4. All For Love - 1993 - from the 1993 film "The Three Musketeers", Rod shares the spotlight on this single with Bryan Adams and Sting.

5. Downtown Train - 1990 - Originally recorded by Tom Waits in 1985, Rod's cover version includes guitar work by Jeff Beck.

6. You're In My Heart (The Final Acclaim) - 1978 - from the "Footloose And Fancy Free" album, the single includes the lyrics "Celtic, United" which are the names of two of Rod's favorite football teams (Glasgow Celtic and Manchester United.)

7. My Heart Can't Tell You No - 1989 - from the "Out Of Order" album.

8. Passion - 1981 - from the "Foolish Behaviour" album.

9. Young Turks - 1981 - also known as "Young Hearts" the video of this song is the first one shown on MTV displaying breakdancing.

10. Rhythm Of My Heart - 1991 - from the "Vagabond Heart" album, "Buggles lead singer, Trevor Horn, produced this single for Rod.

11. Have I Told You Lately - 1993 - written and originally recorded by Van Morrison in 1989 and winning him a Grammy, Rod's live version came from his "UnPlugged...And Seated" album.

12. Infatuation - 1984 - from his "Camouflage" album and going to #6 on the weekly charts.

13. Love Touch - 1986 - from the film "Legal Eagles" starring Robert Redford, Debra Winger and Darryl Hannah, this single was featured on Rod's "Every Beat Of My Heart" album.

14. The Motown Song - 1991 - also from the "Vagabond Heart" album, this single features backing vocals by The Temptations.

15. Some Guys Have All The Luck - 1984 - originally recorded by The Persuaders in 1973, a country version was recorded by Louise Mandrell in 1985 called, "Some Girls Have All The Luck."

16. This Old Heart Of Mine - 1990 - originally recorded by The Isely Brothers in 1966, Rod first charted in 1976 with this single and then rerecorded it with Ron Isely in 1990.

17. Crazy About Her - 1989 - from the "Out Of Order" album.

18. Forever Young - 1988 - a rewrite of a Bob Dylan song of the same title, Rod shares writing credits with Dylan, after fearing a plagiarism suit. Another version of this song is being used as the opening theme to the NBC TV series, "Parenthood."

19. Lost In You - 1988 - also from the "Out Of Order" album.

20. You Wear It Well - 1972 - from the "Never A Dull MoMent" album.

In 2002, Rod released an album of old standards called, "The Great American Songbook." As of 2010, Rod has released five "Great American Songbook" albums garnering him 13 Top 30 singles on Billboard's Adult Contemporary Charts.

Rod has been married three times; first, to actor George Hamilton's ex-wife, Alana, from 1979-1984. In 1990, he married model Rachel Hunter and they divorced in 2006. He is currently married to model Penny Lancaster and is the father of seven children with the eighth due early in 2011.

In 1989, Rod Stewart won Grammy's Living Legends Award. He still enjoys performing and recording. He plays in a senior soccer league and is a model railway enthusiast.

barbie three musketeers costume

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Sweet Trivia Question And Answer

1. Chocolate is made from cocoa beans. But where do cocoa beans grow?

A. On trees

B. On bushes

C. On vines

D. On roots

A. On trees

TOPICS: Cocoa beans come from cacao trees that grow in tropical regions of the world

2. During World War II, production of Hershey's Kisses was halted. Do you know why?

A. Chocolate shorTAGe

B. Sugar shorTAGe

C. Aluminum foil shorTAGe

D. Hershey's produced rations instead of candy during the war

C. Aluminum foil shorTAGe

TOPICS: During World War II, production of Hershey's Kisses was halted. Not because of a shortage of chocolate, but because the signature aluminum foil packaging was rationed.

3. Where could the babe that the Baby Ruth candy bar was named for be found at the time?

A. Yankee Stadium

B. Hollywood

C. Broadway

D. Washington, D.C.

D. Washington, D.C.

TOPICS: The Baby Ruth was named after the first child born in the White House - Ruth - who was born to President Grover Cleveland in 1891 and later died in 1904. The candy manufacturer strongly denies any association with the famous Yankee.

4. What candy bar was included in U.S. solders' rations during World War II?

A. PayDay

B. Heath Bar

C. Snickers

D. Twix

B. Heath Bar

TOPICS: Heath bars were included in U.S. soldiers' rations during World War II because they had been found to have a very long shelf life. Originally marketed as a health Food, the Heath bar was advertising as using only the finest ingredients. One early ad read: "Heath for better health!"

5. Where was milk chocolate invented?

A. England

B. America

C. Switzerland

D. France

C. Switzerland

TOPICS: A Swiss chocolate maker, Daniel Peter, mixes Henri Nestle's condensed milk with chocolate and the two Men found a company to manufacture the first milk chocolate.

6. What candy bar was originally packaged to include three separate pieces of candy flavored vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry?

A. Twix

B. Mounds

C. Mars

D. 3 Musketeers

D. 3 Musketeers

TOPICS: When it was first introduced in 1932, the 3 Musketeers bar was packaged to include three separate pieces of candy flavored vanilla, chocolate and strawberry -- thus the name THREE Musketeers. Causing some confusion to tourists worldwide, the 3 Musketeers bar is called a Milky Way in European countries, and the U.S. version of the Milky Way is called a Mars Bar.

7. Aztec emperor Montezuma drank 50 golden goblets of hot chocolate every day. What special flavoring did he add?

A. Vanilla

B. Coffee

C. Chili pepper

D. Blood

C. Chili pepper

TOPICS: It was thick, dyed red and flavored with chili peppers.

8. Where do Hershey's Kisses get their name?

A. Their inventor

B. Their flavor

C. Their shape

D. Their sound

D. Their sound

TOPICS: Hershey's Kisses get their name from the sound and motion of the machines that produce them. It looks and sounds as if the machine is kissing the conveyor belt as it moves along.

9. What flavor is the oldest gum still available today?

A. Licorice

B. Cherry

C. Spearmint

D. Clove

A. Licorice

TOPICS: The oldest gum still available is licorice-flavored Blackjack Chewing Gum. It was first introduced in 1872 and was the first flavored gum in the United States.

10. What candy bar was named after its inventor's family horse?

A. Twix

B. Pay Day

C. Snickers

D. Almond Joy

C. Snickers

TOPICS: Originally introduced in 1929 by Frank and Ethel Mars, the Snickers bar was named after their family horse. The original Snickers bars were sold for a nickel and consisted primarily of chocolate, peanuts and caramel.

three musketeers

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